Farewell 2017!

Happy New Year for all blogwalkers!  Hope that you guys are doing well and have the most relaxing holiday like I do. I’m writing this blog in Banjarmasin, sitting on my grandpa’s couch, snacking peanuts and Christmas cookies, while listening to hustle bustle of the street. Oh how I love this situation so much when I can peacefully live the present and being close with my family. Really, I do not know how to say it logically, but I think I’m a melancholy-Pisces (plus an introvert) at heart who adore peace and intimacy. Someday I wish I can spend my old days far from the city, probably in one the villages in New Zealand. Painting, cooking, and reading books with my loved ones. But, to afford it, I must live in my rushing-young-adult moment. If you want me to mention 3 highlights of 2017, I may say: get into my dream job, build a healthy relationship, and overcome depression. I want to share a bit details to all of you so let me do the story telling.

After 1 month of internship in MMAC Group (a company founded by Mel Ahyar, one of the most prominent fashion designer in Indonesia, and her smart husband, Mas Arie), I got offering to continue as a full-time employee through a “Take Off” program with 4 other girls. Basically, this program is similar to MT program in other companies, there are classes, trainings, and assessments for 5 months. Sounds boring, eh? Because I haven’t told everything yet! My excitement started when I was assigned in Happa (one of MMAC brand, focusing on women’s wear, inspired by culture) as marketer, copy writer, and textile designer. Yes! So many roles! And I like it being busy. I can still clearly remember my first-time Happa’s private show in Terrarium Rooftop Kuningan, my first-time do composition for fabric printing, my first-time fabric sourcing, my first-time serving high-end clients, my first-time overtime (which is now become a habit, lol), my first-time making printed fabric from scratch, my first-time making press release, my first-time handle daily instagram content, and another first-time I went through. I was also selected to be the chief of event (as well as chief of marketing) for annual festive sale which is quite a load to bear. These pain-in-the-ass of the so called “Take Off” program finally over and per January I am officially a full timer but no longer work for Happa but Mel Ahyar First to hold bigger responsibilities. Can’t wait for new challenges to come!

Now, it’s time to talk about my romance. Honestly, having relationship with this guy is the least dramatic relationship so far. It’s not about that he’s very patient or me giving up on things but more about both of us, in explainable ways, adjust our mind, heart, and behavior to create a peaceful relationship. As a human being, of course we have different thoughts and we must argue sometimes. But in the end, we respect each other’s perspective and try to merge them to eventually widen our way of seeing. Having this healthy relationship is also a blessing that I believe only come from God. I don’t know, I feel like God loves us when we’re together, so maybe that’s why. We support each other career of course. He never complains when I have so many things to do at work (which in contrary have less time for him), pour me with love when I’m about to give up, support me whenever I feel unable to accomplish my job. Both of us believe that God's plan on us is great. It's only because of Him that he is able to get his career as a judge in The Supreme Court of the Republic of Indonesia. The moment when he received the announcement, we were having a dinner so I was the first to know about the good news. With his teary eyes he praised the Lord then hugged me. I couldn’t ask for a better scenario, thank God :)

Lastly, this is the thing that I’m actually not comfortable of sharing it online. But you guys should know that my life sucks sometimes. The worst is when I had family issues. A deadly combination of pressure and a bitter fact. I have no one to share at the moment because I want to keep it secret. I don’t want to share burden; not to my parents, my brother, my boyfriend, nor my closest friends. So, I hide the issues deep within me until I got depressed and lost the light of hope. Sometimes, an idea to commit suicide came across my mind. Then I started to think that I need to tell this to my boyfriend and closest friends (I even shared my lame stories to strangers too. I did it to let my anger and disappointment go). Surprisingly they were very supportive and did not judge me for my ridiculous tendency to end my life. If they were not there for me, maybe I was not able to write this. So, whoever read this with a heavy heart, depression, a load that you can’t keep yourself, please know that, yes you can’t bear it on your own. You need to share whatever it is. No matter how awful your problem is, I have mine too. When you want to share a story, I’m here to listen. Oh! And one trick: Even when it’s hurt, try to have persistent talk to God. It may seem that He doesn’t listen but He’ll answer gracefully. If He can help me, He can help you too, trust no one but Him. 

So, that's all about my highlights. Not everything was going well, but I believe there's a rainbow after the rain and day by day, I transform into a better fighter.
"A strong person is the one who knows how to be quiet, shed a tear for a moment, and then picks up their sword and fight again"